i'm not cool. i realized that like twenty years ago. it was only recently that i discovered why. actually there are three reasons.

one: i don't like baseball hats. i don't like that thing stickin' way out in front of me. i don't like how many people can have dozens of them. i don't like that for some reason we have to bend the sides of the bill thingie way down in order to be socially acceptable. i don't like baseball.

two: i don't like the dave matthews band. his voice is really annoying. his music is mere guitar-play. his lyrics are uninspiring.

three: i don't like sunflower seeds. they're messy. i don't have the patience to suck on them. they actually give me a headache.