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Even the girl at the counter wore one. When she leaned against the desk, her boobs gave from the pressure. I wondered how much pressure it took before they started to hurt. She did the standard haircut appointment spiel. I was able to choose my stylist and everything just like at any other salon. I informed her that I'd never been in before, so I didn't have a stylist. Unlike any other salon, however, the appointment-girl then pointed out the individual employee business cards complete with glamorous photos of bikini-clad stylists to help me make my decision. I thought it would be more effective to show me photos of the haircuts the stylists had given, not photos of the stylists themselves. I felt too silly to make the decision on a visual criterion, so I let her make it.

I had several reasons (or excuses) for going to Bikini Cuts. I wanted to go before the place got shut down by the conservative community. I wanted to go while I didn't have a girlfriend to tell me I couldn't. I wanted to go before I went bald. I decided a.s.a.p. was the best time. Honestly, though, as soon as I found out about the place, my curiosity about the very existence of it outdid my carnal desire to go there.

The counter-chick set me up with Melissa. I had asked for a 9 a.m. haircut and Melissa was one of only two girls working that early on the day I went in. The other girl, Heather, was finishing up on a guy by the time I arrived. I was Melissa's first for that day, so I was hoping she was in the mood to talk. She was in the mood to talk, or at least seemed to be. When she started the haircut I immediately barraged her with all my curiosities.

We did the small talk thing. I found out she graduated high school in the same class as my cousin. It made me want to call my cousin up and say, "Hey Quinn, remember Melissa from high school? Did you know she cuts hair now?" I still have to get around to doing that.

I noticed pretty early on that she had a ring on her left hand. When I asked her what her fiancé thought of what she did, she surprisingly informed me that she wasn't engaged, but married for a couple of years now. Apparently her husband was a little bit prickly about the situation when she started, but has since mellowed out.

I imagine they as a couple were pretty pragmatic about the whole situation. They probably figured that she wasn't doing anything sexual to anyone anymore than she did when she went swimming. It's just a place where the girls cut hair, and they just have a weird uniform.

Pragmatically, I had a lot of room to look at it in a positive way myself. Everything else aside, it was actually my most enjoyable haircut. She shampooed and conditioned giving a great scalp massage for both. After all the cutting was over, she rinsed my head again to get rid of most of the excess hair still lingering on my scalp. After all that, I got a warm towel treatment. Fortunately for me, these girls don't use their boobs for crutches.

Of course it is a bit more complicated than that. I asked Melissa that surely they couldn't be an equal opportunity employer. She agreed and said that the place actually has an entertainment license, which means that they can hire on more physically-specific reasons. When she first joined on, and they had her cut a fake head of hair to make sure she knew what she was doing, she wore a bikini. With hiring practices like that, the place can't be "just a place to get haircuts."

After a little prodding, I got Melissa to list off some pet peeves of her exclusive industry. Often, she says, she gets guys who ask about the "back room" or "additional services." Understandably, she says she doesn't have much patience for such types, but they are a minority.

Even with seedy clientele like myself and the jerks who mention the back room, she never would admit that her job was degrading. She cuts hair and makes excellent tips, although she did mention that some girls were in a much higher tip bracket than others. Still, no complaints. When I first asked her about days she didn't want to come to work she simply said, "Well, sometimes it's hard to come in on cold days."

By this time Crystal, the front desk girl, had huddled into a running hair-dryer chair to warm up. Strangely, I thought this was really cute. All the controversy of this place in a conservative part of Sandy (right next to a Smith's), and the cold is what the girls worry about.

Heather is now finished with her appointment and chimes in when I start asking about the place being a step back for feminism. "This place was started by women, and it's run by women," she says. "If someone complains about this place, they're destroying what women have built up." While she was rattling on about the critics, she also complained about the clientele just a little. She said sometimes clients will ask for a stylist who doesn't have a boyfriend. "Does it matter?" she asks rhetorically.

Bethany Prince wasn't there. I wish I had the chance to talk to Bethany. She's another stylist and is also the one who thought of the whole idea. If I go back, I'd have to go when she was there.

On the way out, I asked Crystal about her fiancé (her diamond ring was huge). She said that he loved the place and has Bikini Cuts bumper stickers all over his car. There was another guy in there talking to some of the girls. I don't think he wanted a haircut, he knew them. Maybe he was an investor or something. He said aloud, "I don't know what kind of guy would love his girlfriend to work here!" I wondered what kind of guy this Crystal chick was hanging out with as well.

After I left, I thought about what Heather said about the romantic status of the stylists mattering. I decided that it did. Certainly, the majority of the men who go in there don't expect to hook up with anybody, but they do plan on doing some friendly flirting. Even with the odds against them, it's a lot more fun to flirt with a single girl than it is with an engaged one.

I thought a little bit about power. I, myself, probably wouldn't mind getting lusted after. I imagine that women in general don't really feel too bad when they're getting ogled. It's just a question about where the power lies, after all. Although they deal with jerks sometimes, for the most part the guys who come in are really friendly and very giving. I'm sure Melissa was very satisfied with the big tip I left.

I suppose there is no step back for feminism from this specific entrepreneurial standpoint, but the message that visual attractiveness is more important than soul and intellect is very much prominent for any women down the road.

Still, besides all these thoughts I thought more than anything of getting another haircut.

I'm not sure if I'll ever return. I still want to talk to Bethany, but my legitimate reasons for going are pretty used up. On a very bright side, my mom told me that it was the best haircut I'd gotten in years.

(17jan04)