This page was last updated on Tuesday, 11 January, 2005

list #10: the 36 best movies of 2004
(or the 36 movies i saw last year)

36. The Alamo This movie was released at the tail end of last year in hopes of garnering some Oscar nominations (*snicker*). The film is a tired tale relying on tired old-war movie cliches. Sometimes, however, they abandoned many cliches right when they might have worked.
35. King Arthur Dull as dirt. Apparently they attempted to make this thing into a gritty historical re-telling while also making it a summer blockbuster. Trying to accomplish both means you can't do either. They put in things like a character named Merlin who doesn't do any magic. Worst of both worlds.
34. Little Black Book The girls I went with really liked this movie and how it was so true-to-life in girl/guy relationships. I saw it and just thought that Brittany Murphy was a complete psychopath and anybody who somehow relates to her is the same.
33. Van Helsing I'd dismiss the movie completely if it weren't packed with vampires. The characters did too many Tarzan swings and officially passed beyond summer blockbuster fun in this cgi nightmare.
32. The Grudge It has an incredibly weak plot to drive the scary sequences. Oh, and it's also not scary.
31. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights A so-so story about a young American girl in Havana who, through a series of life-changing experiences, releases her inner-skank. I never saw the first Dirty Dancing movie, so I was pretty lost through the whole thing.
30. Phantom of the Opera I kind of felt that Phantom is too much of a period piece to make it as a mainstream hit. It's period is way too late eighties. If they made the film 15 years ago I would have cared, but the silly songs have even too much synth for me.
29. Finding Neverland Pretty good presentation, but it didn't have any effect on me emotionally at all. Maybe I'm insensitive (because everybody I know who saw this felt that this movie was an emotional powerhouse), but I thought the whole situation was inappropriate even though nobody did anything bad.
28. Friday Night Lights I love football movies but there were two reasons why this movie had serious problems. One is my biggest pet peeve of movies today, which is overuse of hand-held cameras to make the movie more realistic. A movie is not more realistic because it draws attention to the fact that there is a guy filming it. Also, I never really felt that the team was really a good team, let alone a team that deserved to make it to the Texas state finals.
27. Meet the Fockers Kind of funny, but reverted to gross stuff too much. Also, the first one was so good because it focused all the uncomfort on one person instead of everybody in the cast.
26. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Honestly, I shouldn't have watched this, but I just wandered into the theater after seeing something else. Lots of funny parts, but I felt really guilty afterwards.
25. Jersey Girl Not nearly, nearly as biting as Kevin Smith's other movies, but you gotta commend him for putting his rep on the line with this family story. Also, I love the use of the Cure song "High."
24. Alien Vs. Predator Although there wasn't as much fighting between the aliens and predators as I would have wanted, the main predator did have quite an Oscar moment as he dropped his head in despair while watching one human as she's forced to kill her love interest to stop the alien investation. Yep, Oscar moment. There was also a scene when it looked like the predator might kiss the same human in a touching ritualistic predator bodily mutilation program.
23. I, Robot I think the movie addressed the concept of artificial intelligence very well. It's always been something that's fascinated me. Also Bridget Moynahan... mmmm....
22. 50 First Dates I realized my life sucks when I found myself watching this movie with my roommate on Valentine's Day. The movie had sweethearty parts, but not enough funny parts (except when he jumped on the jet-ski). Hey, think about the ending, though. Imagine how absolutely horrifying Drew Barrymore's character's life is from day to day.
21. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events Actually it was better than I thought it would be. I just wish Jim Carrey would go back to In Living Color. I also wish they'd put In Living Color back on the air.
20. Big Fish I agree with most people about how it drags on and on, but the ending redeems some of the reasons for the dragging. I saw this movie at Brewvies, so it helped that I saw it during a meal.
19. Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! Topher Grace used to be annoying to me, but now I relate to him a little. Also, this has the most "aww shucks" endings of any romance I've seen in a while (of course I usually steer clear of romantic movies).
18. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy I laughed super hard at some of the parts, but there is too much gap between these parts. So it was funny, but for as funny as Will Ferrell actually is, he should have been a lot funnier in his own pet project.
17. 13 Going on 30

Judy Greer was great, and Jennifer Garner is nice, but not as nice as everyone thinks. What's the deal with all the 1983 references for a girl who was 13 in 1987? It's very noticable. Anyway, I'm ranking this movie pretty well, because even though it wasn't that great, the really stupid teenage couple next to me in the showing I went to made fun of it the whole time. The thing is, they didn't even make fun of it intelligenly at all. They were really, really stupid. I'm putting 13 Going on 30 a good spot on the list to spite the stupid kids sitting next to me.
16. Shrek 2 First one is better. My favorite part, though is when Shrek mistakes the hand bowl for soup and then he sees Donkey embarrassed at Shrek while he dips his hooves in his bowl. Okay, it doesn't sound funny, but it really looks funny!
15. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban It's about time Harry Potter got interesting. Far out, a little justification to the hype! I really like what the new director has done. Like my brother says, now it seems like Hogwart's is a real physical place.
14. Spider-Man 2 Pretty good. I fail to see why everyone thinks it's the best superhero movie of all time. That spot will always be held by X-Men 2. Also Spider-Man villians are always so lame. The next Spider-Man movie must have Venom or I'm no longer a comic book movie fan.
13. The Best Two Years Kirby Heybourne's accent almost ruined this, but I think this movie contains my very favorite first discussion caught on film.
12. The Bourne Supremacy I loved the excitement and the story. The movie could have been great. It could have gone into the top five if it weren't for the stupid shaky hand-held cameras. People always tell me that it's okay because the director did it on purpose as a specific stylistic decision. Just because the director wanted it that way, it doesn't mean it was the right decision. In fact, since he was fully aware of his sin, he should be more accountable.
11. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow I have a big problem with cgi elements in live-action movies, but I don't have a problem with live-action within a cgi movie. I think it works. Also, I like the retro-futuro aspect. By that I mean I think this is exactly what kids in the twenties would have imagined the future of the fifties to look like. I love looking toward the future from the past.
10. Troy Yes, it is surprising that Troy made my top ten. Since they totally massacred the actual Iliad storyline, you'd think I'd hate it. Thing is, I've been waiting for an epic movie about the Trojan War to be made since 5th grade.
9. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story If I suddenly turned gay, I'd probably write letters to Vince Vaughn. If you get the Dodgeball dvd, check out the alternate ending. It's wicked awesome.
8. Saints and Soldiers Finally we've reached a turning point in Mormon cinema, which is Mormon cinema that isn't really about Mormons. Not only that, but it's a great war movie shot low-budget that doesn't look like it. Actually it does, but a lot less than what it cost. And you get another goofy Kirby Heybourne accent.
7. The Village Everybody hated this, and it is probably the worst of Shyamalan's stuff, but I still loved it. They made a mistake promoting it as a scary movie because it wasn't. It was an interesting story, with an interesting setup, with interesting characters though. I've heard the interpretation (which I like) about the ethics of a government keeping a nation in the dark about what dangers lie outside its borders.
6. Hero You know what's better about big budget Chinese action films over big budget American action films? The Chinese films emphasize the fight choreography itself while American films focus on shaky cameras FOR SOME STUPID REASON! I also have a huge crush on Ziyi Zhang.
5. Starsky and Hutch Out of all the movies this year with Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell, I liked this one the most.
4. Napoleon Dynamite When I first saw this I thought to myself that it was pretty fun, but that everyone I know will hate it. For some reason everyone I know likes it more than I do. Pay close attention. Sometimes Uncle Rico puts a little French lilt when he says "Napoleo'n."
3. The Incredibles Not only is it an awesome kids movie, but it's a great comic book homage to the Fantastic Four and Watchmen.
2. Mean Girls My friend Charlotte didn't like this movie because "it reminded her too much of high school." It also re-establishes what Chris Rock said about women: "Women would be running the world right now if they weren't so busy hating each other.
1. Kill Bill Vol. 2 The Kill Bill movies were very significant for me. They were a complete emancipation from all the action movies I hated. They emancipated me from shaky camera syndrome. They emancipated me from characters I didn't care about. They emancipated me from humorless scripts. They emancipated me from soundtracks with no soul. All last year I didn't see one other movie as delightful as this gore-fest. The blood and everything else about this movie (and its predecessor) is simply beautiful.