This page was last updated on Monday, 23 May, 2005

 

Okay, both of you. I guess I owe an explanation. The reason I haven't updated this thing in like two months isn't just because I'm lazy. The biggest reason is my computer. It's been having problems for like a few months now, but last month it finally just blew out.

It's been a very, very long month for me. I think I finally realize what it's like to be a concerned parent worrying about his child on life-support. I've finally realized just how much of me is devoted to the tower of junk currently sputtering at my feet. I've also realized that I'd probably be a much better person if I weren't so devoted to something very obviously not living.

So, as I was saying, a month ago I realized I needed to take drastic action. The phone book provided several computer repair options, but the prices and guarantees weren't spelled out to me in their phone numbers. After calling three or four of them, I finally decided to take it in to Totally Awesome Computers. My reasoning was that they were close, they had a reputation and I totally owed them a favor. See, about a year ago I ran into some computer trouble and called them for help. I thought I'd have to bring the computer in, but it turns out I only needed a small fix-it program which they emailed to me at no charge. So for a year now, I've been telling everybody that my one experience with them was way cool and even though the commercials are annoying, the company is way wicked good.

From here on in, I'm going to have to censor myself a little. It's not for the reader's sake. It's for my sake. Some things I just have a hard time typing. In some of the following sentences, I'll just be giving the gist of some words, concepts and values. Such words and phrases will appear between asterisks.

I called them up and immediately asked how much the computer repair service would be. The guy told me that it cost *extremely large amount of money* per hour for labor. A couple of the other places I talked to were much cheaper, but they didn't have the rep, and, like I said, I didn't really owe them a favor. So brought the sucker in for them that night. They said It might be the next day before someone could look at it, but it should be done by then.

A couple of days later they called me up to let me know that my video card had fried or melted or evaporated or something. Such a thing couldn't be fixed and I'd need a brand new video card. Hesitantly I asked how much one would be and the guy responded that the cheapest card they had in stock was *an obscenely large amount of money*. I asked if they could order one and the guy said they could get one in the next day for *about ten dollars cheaper than the obscenely large amount of money just mentioned*. I asked if there was a cheaper one that could be ordered, and he said they could order one that would cost *a huge amount of money, but not quite as much as the two obscene amounts of money already mentioned* and would come in a week instead of the next day. I probably should have asked why more expensive video cards actually travel faster through the mail, but instead I just asked if this "cheap" card was as good as the one I just melted. His response was actually, the only bit of good news in a while: "The card is light-years ahead of the piece of crap you got in your computer now."

About nine days later, I got sick of waiting around and gave them a call. After being put on hold for five minutes the guy got back on the line and said that my machine was ready and I could pick it up. I picked it up later in the day and was helped by this dude with a lipring. It bothers me that dude's wear liprings. It's not that I have anything against them personally, it's just that it makes me imagine how uncomfortable such a thing is. So Lipring printed out the invoice and I used my credit card which had seen a lot of use that week by buying my mom lunch for her birthday and getting my car brakes fixed.

Happily I returned home and plugged everything back in. It started up fine and purred beautifully. The only problem was that there was nothing on the screen. I tried a different monitor and this time something did appear on the screen: a text box which read: "NO VIDEO."

Unhappily I returned to Totally Awesome Computers that same day. I told the guy at the desk my story that they had just fixed it and I brought the computer home with a new video card and found that there was, in fact, no video. The guy said he had to attend to something else so he got Lipring to help me. I heard him explain to Lipring that I was just bringing my computer back because it had no video after they had just finished installing a new video card. Lipring then came up to me and said, "Okay, so what's goin' on here?" After the story of the long lost video was told for the third time within Lipring's earshot, he told me that he'd talk to the techs to see if they had time to look at it (apparently this beauty queen was just the receptionist). I was too nice to tell Lipring that my computer must have all priority on account of being out of my commission at their business for a week and a half only to not work when I got it back. Fortunately a tech came along to set things straight and took a look at the computer. This guy (Travis I think was his name) opened it up and immediately noticed that it was way dustier than it should have been. We dusted it out and tried it. After a series of experiments, Travis told me that it was probably a bad motherboard and it would probably cost *the most ridiculous amount of money ever*. I told him to speak to the tech who fixed it the first time just to make sure no wires were crossed or something and to call me the next day.

About three days later I decided to give them a call. Whoever it was on the phone told me that my computer was fixed and I could pick it up. When I picked it up, they said that they replaced the new video card on warranty, it worked and there would be no charge. I avoided eye contact with Travis who falsely told me I needed a new motherboard and also with Lipring, who I now had issues with personally. I asked the new guy if he could boot it up once before I took it out of the store. He flipped it on and it didn't work. He then took off the cover and adjusted the video card slightly. After it worked he told me to adjust the card down a little everytime i have problems.

I took it home, hooked it up, adjusted the card and it worked! I checked my email and went to bed. The next day I adjusted the video card for an hour, but the computer wouldn't turn on again. In tears, I brought it back in.

A week later I called them again to just chat about how things were going. They explained to me that the problem was probably in the computer tower I had. It was of such totally crappy design that the modules didn't connect to the motherboard properly. They told me that a new tower would be *a lot more money than I thought it would be, but not quite as much money as the labor, video card and motherboard as mentioned above*. I said fine.

So I picked it up just this last Thursday. They billed me for the tower and a couple of hours of labor. Travis showed me this long 3-D demo that told how well the new card was working. He then took a twenty-minute personal call that made me late for a meeting I was supposed to be at.

My child is, like I said, presently sputtering at my feet. It took a lot to get it back, but it's mine and I might do the same again. Well, actually if I knew it would cost so much in the long run, I probably would have just bought a new kid, er, computer. But things are back to normal and that's good. I'm happy to report that my computer has shut down for no reason at all only once since I brought it home.

(30Apr05)

Oh, and btw, I'm planning on re-vamping the whole site soon, so although I have a few more things to immediately talk about, I'll be doing a lot of work behind the scenes which might take a while.